Sunday, October 9, 2011

poor girl

It has been one heck of a week and I am starting to feel the stress.....two lockdowns at Maranda's high school (the student has now turned themself in)....fri night, my uncle, who was at frankenmuth with his entire family, had what could have been a "fatal arrhythmia" (it was thwarted by his daughters who were there at the time he passed out--one called 911, while the other, a nurse, administered CPR---) he is still in the hospital at Saginaw as they try and figure out what happened....and the chemo Lisa has been on has been making her throw up every day with it escalating yesterday when she ended up throwing up almost every 2 hours, sleeping most of the day and not eating or drinking.

For most of the week, Lisa rallied and managed to get up, throw up, go to school for the first part of the day, go to the hospital, throw up, get chemo, take a nap, come home, eat, go to bed and start all over again. 

This is the first time that Mike and I can remember that she has ever cried when throwing up.  She has complained of a lot of head pain and we can't tell if it's the pain making her throw up or the throwing up is causing the pain.  We are working diligently to try and get her meds right to control her symptoms.

We are scheduled tomorrow for blood draw and Mike will be following up with doctor. Being the seasoned chemo parents, we did not like the way Lisa look today so Mike took her to ER for hydration.  We are hoping that perks her up and allows her to come home and start eating.

My new job starts tomorrow and I'm plagued with anxiety.  While one part of me knows this is a great opportunity, my mom side just wants to sit, hold Lisa, and cry.  That being said, I realize that wouldn't really help the situation and that I've pushed all my family, including Lisa, to get up and face each new day and go on with life because it's all we got.  Shouldn't I hold myself to the same standards?  Would staying home make any difference except give me time to lick my wounds?  I'm not sure.  Staying home makes managing Lisa's care much easier and perhaps eases the stress for the rest of the family, but when we are faced with frequent admits the stress will rise no matter who is with her and work/school is what gives us our sense of "normalcy"; a place to go where we can forget about the cancer for a while and feel like we are being productive.

I am keeping my fingers crossed, trying to slow my thoughts and heart rate as I prepare for my new adventure.  I pray that Lisa has not come to the end of the line and I read and look at every option that is out there for the next direction to go.  I pray God gives us guidance and helps provide answers on how best to care for her along with our other three children who surely are impacted by this evil cancer.

Despite all the stress, we did get a chance Friday to have a wonderful bonfire at the lake with our friends the Grendsya's and enjoyed some time on the boat yesterday. Hope everyone else had a chance to enjoy the great weather here in Michigan.
Please send up some extra prayers this week for all of us.  Also, if anyone knows someone who is looking for work, we are considering hiring someone to help out with taking kids to sports, school events and even possibly stay with Lisa at the hospital some days if she is admitted.  We wouldn't be able to pay very much, but we will do the best we can.


1 comment:

Lynn Zott said...

Sending you all some extra special loving, healing, peaceful energy this week. Good luck with the new job, Linda. I think you're right on--the routine, getting out of the house, being around other people, etc. will probably *decrease* your stress level just by giving you something else to focus on for a few hours each day. And any way you can possibly reduce stress, I say go for it, mama.
I'll ask around and see if any of the folks I know in your area are available/interested in helping you guys out. I'd do it free for nuthin' if I could. Take care!! xox