Thursday, March 20, 2014

10 months since she left us

It is 10 months since Lisa left us.  It does not seem like it can possibly be that long.  I still am in a state of disbelief and hoping to wake up from this bad dream.  The new tv series "Resurrection" has me crossing my fingers and holding my breath as I "wish" something like that could really happen. I carry on and the hole in my heart remains and I wonder when the day will come that I wake up and don't count how many days she has been gone.

A few weeks ago, a mom of one of Lisa's friends sent me the following:

OMG hi! Lol I am so happy to hear from you! I have tried to get in touch with you since kindergarten! Lol I just have to take a few min to tell you a few things! First of all, I saw how busy you were at the viewing and things so I never made it over to give my condolences but I am so sorry for your loss... Macey took it very hard. Her teacher had to call me to come get her from school when they made the announcement. When Macey started kindergarten and eventually Lisa came to class, she came home and told me how she had the PRETTIEST new friend in the WHOLE WORLD and how AWESOME her hair was. Everyday, "I wish my hair was like Lisa's, it's so pretty, she's so pretty, she's not like the other girls".... To my astonishment I eventually got a newsletter home about Lisa's nurse coming to answer any questions the kids may have about cancer... I had no idea the girl mason just RAVED abt had cancer and short hair... It made my heart flutter that mason saw something so special in her. Macey started cutting ALL her Barbie dolls hair off and naming them ALL Lisa... She put little headbands with big flowers on each one of their little bald heads because "Lisa wore them and looked BEAUTIFUL" lol Macey just adored her. I work in hospice so once Macey met Lisa, she became really fascinated in cancer and it's cruelty and started volunteering with me on a regular basis at my and other nursing homes .... In first grade, she wanted to cut her hair short to look like Lisa. Everyone thought I was NUTTS for allowing a 6 yr old to decide she wanted no hair voluntarily but I knew it meant a lot to her, so we went to cut it off and donate it.... She COULDN'T WAIT to tell Lisa. Lol however it broke her heart to learn of a ten inch donation rule as she only had 8 cut off ): she then sucked it up and promised she'd grow it back out and in the name of Lisa the most beautiful girl in the world lol that she would give a kid somewhere new hair.... I will have you know that because of your wonderfully perfect inspiring little girl, yesterday, Macey finally reached her goal and shaved her head... Lol bald. To mail every strand to locks of love (: 

Macey does not let a day go by without thinking of her, praying about her, or sometimes falling apart abouther... She loved her so much and sleeps every night with the baby doll she got at her viewing... You raised a wonderful daughter, who inspired mine in so many ways and I have always just wanted to tell you that! I know soon after a death, that you are bombarded with flowers and cards, but I also know that once that passes, sometimes is when you need the most condolence... Sometimes 8 weeks down the road you have a rough night and those flowers and cards have long since stopped, so with that being said, this is just a small reminder that we think of you often and your family. We hope you are all well and we hope you know what a tremendous little warrior you raised.... Hope all is well. In our thoughts & prayers...
The timing of this email was perfect as I had been struggling and plagued  with thoughts that perhaps all Lisa's pain and struggles had been in vain as time goes by and we carry on and  we forget all the lessons Lisa taught us.
Another friend recently shared ...A friend is running in a Shamrock Marathon in Virginia Beach this weekend. His daughter made loom ribbons to raise money for Live Strong. My friend will wear the ribbons in the race. I thought you might like to know that my memories of Lisa will be with him. That strong, sweet girl of yours is still with us in spirit!
Thank you to Macey, her mom and all of you all who have kept us in your thoughts and shared with us what Lisa meant to you and that you too still think of her.  It helps to know we are not alone.
Here's a pic of Macey with her "Lisa-hairdo".  You go girl!
Here's a pic of the gold loom ribbon for the Virgin Beach marathon....BLAST cancer, Live STRONG!