Monday, June 23, 2008

Chemo Day 1

So we begin. Not even sure where to start writing, my mind is just in a whirlwind.

Friday ended up being a very long day as I waited at the Lake House with the other kids for Lisa to come home. Mike took her to the dentist early in the morning and she had her cavity filled. They returned to the hospital for her MRI and bone scan. The day dragged out forever and they did not get home until after 7 pm. I was so excited for her to be out of the hospital, but Friday and Saturday were bittersweet. She was in pain and it was really hard for her to get around. She did a lot of sleeping and movie watching. We kept having to readjust her and help her back to sitting as she would slump over to the side. It was difficult for her to pull herself up into a sitting position....it's almost as if she had no control over her muscles. Even taking her on the boat Saturday (something she loves) did not help. The bumps were just too jarring for her and while we had a fun time, she was ready to get off after only a short time.

Sunday was a better day. She was able to get around and played. She takes Motrin ever three hours and as a reward for taking her medicine she gets to squirt someone with water. Visitors beware...she usually picks the newest person and those little syringes pack quite the punch...prepare to get wet.

So, today it begins. Mike will be taking her to chemo while I take the other kids to some of their own appointments. I'm guessing this will not be very traumatic for Lisa compared to the prior days. It seems pretty easy, they just hook her up and run the meds. I don't even think she'll feel the effect of them until a few days out....unless she has some weird allergic reaction (let' pray that doesn't happen!).Still, my heart races and I get pretty anxious knowing why she needs those meds and realizing we are just starting this long journey.

I'm feeling a bit desperate about all this. I can't seem to get my mind to stay in the moment and I keep leaping to the "what-ifs" which make me very anxious and throws me into panic and pity mode. This is a bad place for me and is really not productive. Knowing this, I need to constantly remind myself to stay in the now and live each moment for what it's worth. It's not going to be easy, but there really is no other option.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

We've been thinking about and praying for Lisa and your whole family daily. I was reading about the song you chose and the things that you have found comfort in. "Divine appointments" is one phrase I have heard to describe what you mention. Certain people meet or interact for 'seemingly' random reasons. I don't think it is random at all and right now it appears our job is to continue to pray for your family and we will. Please continue to find comfort in God, because it is Him who keeps putting your family in my thoughts. Keep looking for those divine appointments because they are everywhere. Believe!

Anonymous said...

Oh Linda, if I could only take some of this from you I would. I can feel your heart racing even as you write that. Of all people, you will handle this the best but inside you hold a lot in. Dont forget you need time to let that out too. God bless you.

Anonymous said...

I wanted you to know that I am here at Mott with my grand daughter Laura who has neuroblastoma. Please give me a call 989-330-4918. Praying for Lisa. Carolyn Wing grandma to Laura stage IV neuroblastoma carepages.com page name LauraVDB
carolyn_wing@yahoo.com

tom said...

Mike, Lisa and gang. The kids seemed to really enjoy Camp Dearborn for the day. Thanks so much to the Zookeeper for bringing them out.
Terri, the kids and I will continue to pray for all of you.
Love,
Tom (aka Uncle Dork)

Anonymous said...

Dear Mike and Lisa,

We are Del and Gerry's "in laws", our prayers are with you all and pray for God's guidance and protection in these challenging days. Be not afraid to be honest God, He is aware of all our feelings and fears...He will not leave you...and there is also a special angel on your side...talk to him too.