Please Pray...Lisa not doing well

It has been a long time since I have written a post. Mike has made the most recent ones.  I find myself deplete of thought and emotion, grasping at straws and living in denial.  Today reality has given me a cold slap across the face.

Our Easter celebration last week was status quo (except I forgot to take pictures like I normally do).  Lisa woke everyone up by 7:30 and all the eggs and baskets were found by 9:30 wtih plenty of time to get to Mass.  We went to my dad's place after for a huuuuuggggggeeeee brunch and enjoyed watching the basketball game with him in the afternoon while Lisa curled up in his bed for her normal nap.

Mike took Lisa up to Grandma Mc's on Monday and they were there the entire week.  I worked while Maranda enjoyed her break hanging out with friends.  Tommy and Chrissy who neglected to turn in their schoolwork before break spent their time spring cleaning the house as a consequence for their grades. The week went by fairly quickly.  I got a little weekend time to myself when Aunt Sharon picked up the teens and took them up to Grandma's.

Hearing the sound of Lisa's voice as she came thru the door today brought a huge smile to my face.  As I got my hug, my heart dropped.  She didn't look so good to me. She looked like she had gained more weight, she had dark rings under her eyes, and she had a cough that sound pretty bronchial. Mike said that she had frequent complaints of headaches and had been taking break-thru pain meds once a day.  As we got ready for church her complaints vacillated from headache to leg pain to nausea.  She was willing to go to church but it was a bit of a struggle for her.  While normally she just lays down for the whole mass, today she needed to leave twice because she felt like throwing up.

Being the trooper that she is, she willingly agreed to go to breakfast with everyone to celebrate our special family day.  It was 5 years ago that Tommy, Chrissy, and Lisa legally changed their last names to McMaster and we became a forever family.  Lisa ate a little bit at the restaurant and we got home at about 3.  I noticed that now it looked like she had a "black" eye.  A wave of nauseau washed over me....this is not good. Often times "raccoon eyes" is one of the tell-tale signs for diagnosing neuroblastoma. I've always been grateful that Lisa has never had this symptom as it is not pretty to look at and most likely means there is cancer activity in the brain.

She slept the afternoon away and came down for dinner and to play a board game.  Now, both of her eyes were looking a little black/blue...booooo!!!  After an hour of being up, she ended the board game and headed back to bed with leg pain and nausea.   Shortly after she threw up and her temp was at 100.1.  About 20 minutes later she threw up again.  Mike and I gave each other a knowing look. At the hour mark, I took her temp again 100.3.  We know where this is going, no question given how she has been looking all day.  We got calendars out and schedules squared away for the teens, made phone calls for back up drivers, and did a 11:00 temp check.  101.1.  Go time.  Bags packed, hospital called, Lisa moved from the bed, Lisa throws up,  Lisa and Mike get in the car...on the road by 11:20 pm.

Please pray. I've been having panic attacks all day anticipating this.  The warnings and words of the doctors spinning thru my head....."you know where this is going to end up, you know what the end result is going to be".  I may "know" but I'm still not ready.  I love that girl more than anything and think she does more good on earth then in heaven.  We need another miracle...we need her to get better.  Hoping that this is just a virus and that antibotics take care of it...hoping doctors are wrong....hoping there are many more days...years...in Lisa's life.  Hoping for a miracle. Please pray.