Pins and Needles

We had a great weekend. Started with a trip to Michigan Adventure on Thursday. As we pulled into the parking lot along side of Shivering Timbers roller coaster, Lisa echoed her brother and sisters excitement and joined in the chorus of "I love roller coasters". Once we entered the park, Dad took the big kids to the first roller coaster and Mom took Lisa to the little one. We boarded immediately and Lisa cried with glee "I love this ride". Within two seconds of the roller coaster moving she started screaming "I hate this....I want Daddy... make it stop". As the 15 second ride rolled into the "station" and I worked to convince her it was okay, her screaming escalated as we rolled by the station for the second round on the loop. She survived and was a bit more cautious getting on the car, boat and plane rides that go round in a circle and that most kids beep the horn continuously....not Lisa....she held on for dear life. She apparently had gotten used to the rides because once Mike and I switched and I took the kids to the corkscrew, Mike took her to the "big" roller coaster. She loved it and didn't scream at all was the report...what?! I think it's just that selective hearing Mike uses.

After Michigan adventure we headed to the Double JJ resort in Rothbury compliments of a good friend who has a place there. While the place is still not fully operating because of new ownership, our kids enjoyed it immensely. There was a swimming pool and a few barn animals to feed and that's all that the kids need to have a good time. The older ones were bummed they didn't get to be led in a circle on the pony....Lisa....she screamed her whole way around. Let's just say Lisa needs a lot more "getting used to the idea" time than others.

Friday we went to Silver Lake Sand dunes and enjoyed the scenery via the jeep ride tour. Saturday on our way home we stopped at Pere Marquette beach on Lake Michigan. It was awesome....the big water and rolling waves instilled calmness and peace in me. I was trying to convince the rest that we should stay for another day or two. I was overrulled..bummer...I could use some more peace. (By the looks of the picture...Lisa was enjoying the peace too! Is that a curl forming in her hair?)

The 3 older kids are off at camp now for the week. A first time experience for Maranda. I find myself constantly doing mental checks wondering how they are doing and what they are up to. I'm ready to go and "volunteer" at the camp and join in the fun for a day. I've been told, I've got to let the kids have their fun and let them grow up....hmmmm....why?!

Lisa is doing well. Today is the first day of a series of 3 day tests and scans. I have to admit I'm on pins and needles. Every ounce of me believes that things are going to come back fine. But after having the rug pulled out from under me a little over a year ago, I'm a little less trustworthy of my intuition.

So....please throw a few extra prayers out.....we are so enjoying our freedom and not having treatments...I don't want it to ever end.

Not much happening

Not much to report this week...last Friday we went to the "spray park" and on Sat we watch the skys and the Blue Angels perform from a friend's yard.

I think I've almost managed to get all of us scheduled and caught up on appts for physicals, dentists, eye docs and all the other things that were overlooked last summer.

We plan on heading up to Michigan Adventure on Thursday and spending some time in Muskegon area this weekend. The three older kids go to camp next week and Lisa goes for scans.

So, not much happening...but that's okay...life is good!

Chocolate not Vanilla Ice Cream

Things are going well. Lisa is a bit more grumpy and tired than usual. Doctors attribute that to her meds....they weren't sure what to say about me being grumpy and tired; it appears to be a personality glitch:)

Lisa's office visit went well today. She only had to give two vials of blood. It was such a small amount compared to prior draws, Lisa didn't even get a chance to help out. We seem to have the blood draw down pat. Count "1-2-3", yell "ow", needle goes in, no tears come out, collect tubes of blood, get stickers and suckers.

Doc said she looks good and the scans and biopsy at the end of the month will give us a much better picture. As for the elevated numbers in her urine last month, the doctor said there is a small chance that eating vanilla ice cream could have elevated them. Vanilla ice cream? Really?! We all know Lisa loves to eat and ice cream has become her daily treat (or two). Matter of fact, she's been known to sneak off to our neighbors at the lake and mooch some ice cream only to come home with her face covered and tell us "nooooo....I didn't have ice cream". Lisa doesn't count it as ice cream if it comes on a stick, only if it comes in a bowl.

I'm hoping she was eating lots of vanilla ice cream before that test a few weeks ago. To my knowledge, it's been mostly chocolate ice cream this week, so hopefully the results from today's urine will come back okay.

So, that's it for now. Life goes on, but it will be with chocolate, not vanilla, ice cream.

Happy 4th of July

Hope everyone is having a great holiday and taking some time to enjoy life.

We've had a good past few weeks and we've been doing my best to take the kids on outings to make up for last summer. We've been to Camp Dearborn, went bowling last week and yesterday we took the kids to the African Safari in OH. They all enjoyed themselves and Lisa loved the animals. She even got picked to help with one of the magic tricks on stage and she was in one of her "performing" modes and marched up to the stage as she called out "they want me Mom."

Still trying to stay positive and upbeat and believe Lisa has beat this monster. Unfortunately, I still worry and become concerned when Lisa says her leg hurts or I notice she seems to be tripping a lot....I guess you just can't erase those memories even though you have the best intentions to move on. The latest email from her doctor has also raised my anxiety level. She wrote:

Just wanted to let you know that Lisa's urine tests finally came back late last week. They were both about the same as they have been for the previous several checks, but they are a little higher than we'd really like. 16.1 was the HVA with the normal cut off being 16. We don't need to do anything different because the scans would be the next step. We already have those scheduled in a few weeks. I'm going to add a bone marrow biopsy as well.So you are not allowed to get more worried yet, but I'll let you know if you should later!!

(For more info on the test and what it indicates, click here.)

ok...so the doctor and I joke about the words "more worried" but they are pretty accurate. The worry seems to always be there, I just need to keep it in check to make sure I don't become paranoid. I guess that goes with being a caregiver for anyone or thing....everyone worries about others, whether it's wondering if their child is safe biking alone to a friends house or if their dog is getting arthritis.....you just have to focus on the positive and try not to make yourself crazy with everything that could go wrong. Sooooooooo....even though Lisa's urine tests have increased, I have to stay focused on the positive. She looks good, she's eating, she's happy and she's having fun. Even if the cancer is re-emerging, there isn't one damn thing I could be doing right now to change things....except pray...which I do....every day.

On that note, I will end this downward spiral of negativity and ask that all you readers go out and enjoy the day, focus on the positive and, as always, offer up an extra prayer for Lisa.

Thanks and Happy 4th!

Happy 10th Birthday to Chrissy

We've had a wonderful week and the kids have thoroughly enjoyed being out of school and staying at the lake. Lots of fish, turtles, and snails have been caught. Thank you to the Jones' family who spent the week with us and helped us get things looking spiffy for summer rentals.

Lisa is doing well. Her appt with onc docs last week showed no changes in bloodwork or scans which is a good thing. She is showing some hearing loss in her right ear, but we think that is from fluid in her ear which has been a problem for her since before she was a year old. Looks like it will be back to the ear specialist to get tubes put in again.

Chrissy had a day of just hanging out and listening to her new country cd (ugh!) while the adults shoveled sand. She got the gifts she asked for including an mp3 player loaded with country music (double ugh!) and the ability to totally tune me out! We ended the day with cake, candles and presents and very tired, but very content, people.

Life is good.

Subject: No restrictions

Below is the email I received from Lisa's BMT doctor on Friday:

Sent: Friday, June 5, 2009 8:55:36 AM
Subject: Re: No restrictions? Lisa McMaster

Dear Linda: After an autologous transplant, immunity is typically back to normal somewhat before day 100. I do not recommend any restrictions. Enjoy the summer. Dr. Levine

It sounds as if we can unleash Lisa on the world...unless you take into account what the the oncology team email response, which was "ah...the difference in doctors is amazing isn't it!! Rajen said no way and John says fine. I love it"

So...we've basically decided to do what any prudent parent does and that's to do what we think best. We have taken Lisa into the "public" world but are still exercising caution and limiting her to areas that are outdoors. If we are indoors, we try to stay away from crowds and if anyone appears sick we get the heck away from them. Since Thursday, Lisa has been to the school circus, spent an hour at preschool, went to church, cheered Chrissy on at her soccer game (saw Christina get her first goal!! yeah!!) and gone shopping. Shopping entailed, "just a few more minutes" and "let's look over here". It's as if she's making up for lost time and she is definitely loving every minute of it.

Summer looks very promising and I'm doing my best to make sure we all have some fun and get to go a few places.

On another note...my mom's treatment is going well and I ask that those of you reading send up a prayer for my Dad who is having minor surgery (is it ever really minor) today. Also, a quick prayer for a niece of my who spent a few days in the hospital last week due to an allergic reaction but is recovering nicely.

Have a great day!

Reader's Digest Moment

I was working at my computer and trying to maintain my composure as Lisa kept interrupting my train of thought and asking questions. I'd asked her a few times to "give me a minute" or "let Mommy finish" but she just kept conversing and asking questions. Finally in desperation, I looked up and said very loudly:

"Jesus, please let Lisa be quiet so I can finish my work"

To which Lisa promptly followed in a loud voice with eyes looking upward:

"Jesus, please let Mommy finish her work so we can play"