We returned home on Wednesday

We had a wonderful vacation on our beloved Topsail Island, NC.  As always, I found the vacation far too short. Original plan had been for two weeks, then it was cut down to one week so we could return for Lisa's treatment, then it was bumped to 10 days to allow us a few extra days of vacation while still qualifying Lisa for a new study.  Unfortunately, when we had her blood tested down in NC, her counts were not high enough to qualify her for a spot in the study and our U of M team had to let that spot go.  The good part is that meant we could stay for a whole two weeks; the bad part meant more time goes by without Lisa's cancer being treated.

We opted to come home on Wednesday because Maranda wanted to be home "with her family" when she went for her high school orientation.  While a small and simple request, it really reminded me how much we arrange our schedules around friggin cancer but downplay or overlook other important life moments.  While leaving Topsail is never easy for me to do, knowing that Maranda is getting ready to embark on the great adventure of high school made it much easier to pack up.  That and the fact that Irene was coming and I had already enjoyed 10 fabulous days at the beach and didn't need to end it with the frantic evacuation that will take place tomorrow.

So, we are home.  The kids "hung out" with their friends today and I did absolutely nothing.  I find I am once again suffering from Topsailitis and having trouble getting into the swing of things and actually having to "do" anything besides sit and read.  I know the moment will be short lived.  I've already started filling out the dreaded school forms AND trying to get a mental hold on next steps for Lisa.  They've rescheduled her for scans next week so they can try and qualify her for one of the three remaining spots in the new study.  While this sounds promising, my mind whirs with questions.  Such as, shouldn't we have blood work done first to make sure her counts have improved?  Can we sneak in a round of chemo before the study to try and beat back the disease before putting her on new study? What will we do if these scans show an increase in growth?  It's only been three weeks, but Lisa has been more tired and having more aches and pains and this always makes me worry.

I'm sure my Topsailitis symptoms will subside and soon I will be at  running top speed again.  I only hope I can find a few remnants of sand in my shoes to remind me to stay focused on living each day fully and appreciating each step on the path of life..whether it be a big or small moment!