Lisa has not eaten since last Thursday. She has been throwing up almost every day since and in the last two days has been having diarrhea. We have force fed her maybe a handful of food over the past 4 days and she continues to drink water. Besides the stomach problems, she still has aches, pains and a horrific cough. It reminds me of the cough she had pre-cancer that never seemed to go away despite numerous trips to the doctor, lots of different meds and breathing treatments. Docs finally labeled it as chronic asthma because they didn't know what else to call it. When she was diagnosed with cancer, the cough disappeared and became a non-issue. Mike and I joke that maybe her cancer is gone and the asthma is back. That would be awesome!
Her aches have kept her bedridden for most of the past 4 days. Once in a while she wanders down to the living room where she will lay on the couch until she regains some strength to go back up the stairs to bed.. Every once in a while, she leaves the room just to lay on the floor in the bathroom or hallway. Not sure what that's all about...she says it's cozy.
I'm very anxious and my mind is in a constant whirl wondering if this is the beginning of the end. I've heard the stories from other cancer mom's whose kids have died. Lots of times it wasn't the cancer that did them in...it was pneumonia, infection, flu bug...something their weak, compromised immune system didn't have the strength to fight off. So, I sit here immobilized by fear looking for any sign she's getting better and putting off calling the doctor. I'm not sure what they can do for her that is different then what we are doing at home. At the hospital, she misses her siblings, we don't have the comforts of home, she is exposed to many other germs, we have to wait to get her meds that we have readily available at home, and there are the mandatory vital checks that wake her up. It sounds weak, I know. I guess I'm scared of what they might find or say and know that I'm not ready to hear some of it. I'm not ready to let her go or give up.
So, I sit here and watch the clock. Noon is my cutoff time. If she's not eating and perking up by then, I have promised myself I will call the doctor and apprise them of the situation. Really hoping she does better in the next hour and already questioning whether one slice of cucumber counts as eating and gets me off the hook for making a call at noon.
As always, please pray!!
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3 comments:
Heavenly Father, watch with us over your child Lisa and grant that she may be restored to that perfect health which it is yours alone to give. Relieve her pain, guard her from all danger, restore to her your gifts of gladness and strength, and raise her up to a life of service to you.
Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
You are the stongest person I know. I have prayed for your family. God hears our prayers and is with you always. He is forever carring you through lifes struggles. God Bless you, Pam
Linda, Call me anytime if you need to talk (even if it is late or the middle of the night) So sorry to hear Lisa is so miserable. Sending you many prayers. I will call you tomorrow. So glad we got to see you and the kids Sunday.
Mary
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