Saturday, May 19, 2012
Scan Week Coming Up & Status of Linda's Mother
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Thy will be done
Lisa is doing well. Today is "Lees's Chicken Tuesday". Lisa will go to school for 1/2 a day, we then pick up her lunch at Lees and head to the hospital for her check-in with her nurse and to find out if the virus has cleared her blood.
Thank you to all for you kind words, support and prayer. A bed at Angela hospice opened up last Friday and we were able to move my mom. Having her at Angela instead of her home has been a great relief. While the hours are still long and stressful,l as she spends her last days on earth, being at Angela allows us to be her "loved ones" instead of her caregivers. I hope/think it is easier on my Dad to have her with nurses 24/7, however, each day she lingers is very heart-wrenching and draining. She is highly medicated so we are thankful that at most times she is having little pain. The trade-off is that the words she utters are few and often we are not sure if they mean anything. I think my Dad is starting to feel numb.....it's hard to watch her have pain, but just as hard to watch her "sleep" in her medicated state and not know if she is hearing you. We all have assured Dad to keep talking, that they say the hearing is the last thing to go... Mom is now considered in the "active" phase of dying so we know that it will be soon...how soon is still in Gods hand....thy will be done.
Thank you to all for you kind words, support and prayer. A bed at Angela hospice opened up last Friday and we were able to move my mom. Having her at Angela instead of her home has been a great relief. While the hours are still long and stressful,l as she spends her last days on earth, being at Angela allows us to be her "loved ones" instead of her caregivers. I hope/think it is easier on my Dad to have her with nurses 24/7, however, each day she lingers is very heart-wrenching and draining. She is highly medicated so we are thankful that at most times she is having little pain. The trade-off is that the words she utters are few and often we are not sure if they mean anything. I think my Dad is starting to feel numb.....it's hard to watch her have pain, but just as hard to watch her "sleep" in her medicated state and not know if she is hearing you. We all have assured Dad to keep talking, that they say the hearing is the last thing to go... Mom is now considered in the "active" phase of dying so we know that it will be soon...how soon is still in Gods hand....thy will be done.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
I hate cancer
Sorry for so long between postings, as usual, life has been a bit chaotic. Lisa has been doing well, some complaints here and there about pain, some anxiety about school and lots of routine visits to her nurse.(So routine, that we've gotten to know the Lee's Chicken staff by name--hi Michelle- because we go every Tuesday before Lisa's appts.)
We will continue to check in with the nurse every Tuesday and have blood draws on Fridays, until there is no residual virus from the study found in her blood. We are on hold for any treatments until then which makes me a bit nervous. While this might make our schedule a little lighter it is nerve racking as we wonder if the cancer is going to use this time to get a grip and take off.
I've decided I really HATE cancer and other diseases. I miss my "naive" little life where I knew nothing about cancer, chemo, side effects, hospitals.....I miss my biggest problem being that my kids didn't read at grade level or didn't clean their room or why the hell.......
Most of you know my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer that had metastasized to her liver. She did chemo for a time and while she did survive longer than they originally gave her, the chemo stopped working and she was left with no other real courses of action. Being that she is 79 years old, we all knew that the winner of this battle would be cancer. Two Sundays ago, each of my mom's kids and their spouses got to share time with her and pick out a special memento to remember her by while she shared the story and history of some of her treasures. One week ago, my brother had my mom's sister come into town for a reunion. It had been 13 years since the sisters had seen each other. It was nice seeing the sisters reminisce and getting to talk with my cousins who I hadn't seen since I was a teeny-bopper. Unfortunately, my mom's sister has Alzheimer's and most likely didn't remember the evening after it happened. My mom, her eyesight fading, had trouble seeing her sister at first. Later, my mom's brain re-wired from the cancer and treatments remembered the evening not for its wonder, but for the things that irritated her.
This last Saturday, I got a call from my Dad in the late afternoon. He sounded exhausted. My mother, with her re-wired brain, was agitated and not being nice and had been suffering from a headache all morning and wouldn't take any meds. I went over to spend the afternoon with her and to give my Dad a break. Fortunately, my mom is/was still pleased to see me and spend time with me. She took the meds with my coaxing and even had enough energy to sit in the sun porch and chat with mefor a while as the headache she had complained about all day subsided. She went to bed around her normal 7pm. She appeared restful and I actually watched a movie with my Dad...I don't think I've done that for 20+ years!
Tuesday, on my way to Lisa's appt, I got a call from my brother that my Mom was not doing well. She had not been up most of the morning and had not eaten since late Monday. By the time I was done with Lisa's appt and got in touch with my brother, he thought the end was very near. Mom was now having what appeared to be "seizures" and trouble breathing. He put out the call and my mom's children returned to the roost as we waited for the hospice nurse. As luck may have it, Matt, my close friend, was the nurse on-call that night and was very familiar with what was going on because I had filled him in earlier that day. Once he got there and administered meds my mom's breathing settled down and she was more peaceful. As the hours wore on, she weakly whispered she was thirsty. I spent the night there and listened to her quiet desperate cries of "I'm thirsty...I'm falling....something is not right..." repeat thru the night. I'm not sure how much she was really aware of and if she knew what she was saying, but I kept the vigil and gave her what I thought she needed.
Since then, we have continued the meds around the clock and gotten a hospital bed for her. We have also established a "watch" schedule until we can get her into a bed at Angela Hospice skilled nursing. This is hard on everyone and very heartbreaking. This is not the way any of us want to die and I get a sense that my mom is aware that she is dying the slow death and is fearful of how long it could take. At this point, we know its not very long, however, her vitals are still strong and that is torment as we wait for the final moment to be upon her which realistically could take up to two weeks. As my Dad said "I can handle a lot of things, I can walk away from things that upset me, I can deal with pain....this...this watching someone die...I can't do...I watched my mother die and now I'm watching my wife die....I hate it and living this nightmare all over again....".
I ask that as Mother's day quickly approaches you send up some prayers for my Mom, my Dad and all my family. I ask that God be merciful and quickly release my mother from this earth so that she, and we, no longer watch her suffer in this shell of a body.
We will continue to check in with the nurse every Tuesday and have blood draws on Fridays, until there is no residual virus from the study found in her blood. We are on hold for any treatments until then which makes me a bit nervous. While this might make our schedule a little lighter it is nerve racking as we wonder if the cancer is going to use this time to get a grip and take off.
I've decided I really HATE cancer and other diseases. I miss my "naive" little life where I knew nothing about cancer, chemo, side effects, hospitals.....I miss my biggest problem being that my kids didn't read at grade level or didn't clean their room or why the hell.......
Most of you know my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer that had metastasized to her liver. She did chemo for a time and while she did survive longer than they originally gave her, the chemo stopped working and she was left with no other real courses of action. Being that she is 79 years old, we all knew that the winner of this battle would be cancer. Two Sundays ago, each of my mom's kids and their spouses got to share time with her and pick out a special memento to remember her by while she shared the story and history of some of her treasures. One week ago, my brother had my mom's sister come into town for a reunion. It had been 13 years since the sisters had seen each other. It was nice seeing the sisters reminisce and getting to talk with my cousins who I hadn't seen since I was a teeny-bopper. Unfortunately, my mom's sister has Alzheimer's and most likely didn't remember the evening after it happened. My mom, her eyesight fading, had trouble seeing her sister at first. Later, my mom's brain re-wired from the cancer and treatments remembered the evening not for its wonder, but for the things that irritated her.
This last Saturday, I got a call from my Dad in the late afternoon. He sounded exhausted. My mother, with her re-wired brain, was agitated and not being nice and had been suffering from a headache all morning and wouldn't take any meds. I went over to spend the afternoon with her and to give my Dad a break. Fortunately, my mom is/was still pleased to see me and spend time with me. She took the meds with my coaxing and even had enough energy to sit in the sun porch and chat with mefor a while as the headache she had complained about all day subsided. She went to bed around her normal 7pm. She appeared restful and I actually watched a movie with my Dad...I don't think I've done that for 20+ years!
Tuesday, on my way to Lisa's appt, I got a call from my brother that my Mom was not doing well. She had not been up most of the morning and had not eaten since late Monday. By the time I was done with Lisa's appt and got in touch with my brother, he thought the end was very near. Mom was now having what appeared to be "seizures" and trouble breathing. He put out the call and my mom's children returned to the roost as we waited for the hospice nurse. As luck may have it, Matt, my close friend, was the nurse on-call that night and was very familiar with what was going on because I had filled him in earlier that day. Once he got there and administered meds my mom's breathing settled down and she was more peaceful. As the hours wore on, she weakly whispered she was thirsty. I spent the night there and listened to her quiet desperate cries of "I'm thirsty...I'm falling....something is not right..." repeat thru the night. I'm not sure how much she was really aware of and if she knew what she was saying, but I kept the vigil and gave her what I thought she needed.
Since then, we have continued the meds around the clock and gotten a hospital bed for her. We have also established a "watch" schedule until we can get her into a bed at Angela Hospice skilled nursing. This is hard on everyone and very heartbreaking. This is not the way any of us want to die and I get a sense that my mom is aware that she is dying the slow death and is fearful of how long it could take. At this point, we know its not very long, however, her vitals are still strong and that is torment as we wait for the final moment to be upon her which realistically could take up to two weeks. As my Dad said "I can handle a lot of things, I can walk away from things that upset me, I can deal with pain....this...this watching someone die...I can't do...I watched my mother die and now I'm watching my wife die....I hate it and living this nightmare all over again....".
I ask that as Mother's day quickly approaches you send up some prayers for my Mom, my Dad and all my family. I ask that God be merciful and quickly release my mother from this earth so that she, and we, no longer watch her suffer in this shell of a body.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Harlem Globetrotters
We stopped by the Palace, not mine - the Pistons, on Sunday to see the Harlem Globetrotters. It was fun and they were entertaining. Here's a fan photo from the day. I think daddy was tired. ;)
I'm back at school this week and loving it. Although I'm a little more tired than usual I still take a shorter nap than mom does when she get home from work! Ha!
I've a couple blood tests this week but other than that we're enjoying the return to normalcy. Thanks for checking and make it a great day!
Daddy is the BEST! - Just sayin.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Lost Car Key - MRI Results
My daddy lost his car key and ring Saturday afternoon at the Brighton theater. There was a BLAST charm on it from my fundraiser, that was the only identifying mark on the key ring. If you [special key-finder movie goer person] land here on the blog please contact us at lyeshmcm@yahoo.com. A big thank you to my daddy's friend Jeff who came and got me and Maranda and daddy so he could go get the other car. Luckily mom had her spare car key on her ring so we could take home both cars. ... Oh, we all REALLY enjoyed the Three Stooges.
The result of my spine MRI came back good last week. There's no indication that the disease has spread there. Yeah. I'm feeling great most of the time and having a lot of fun at the cottage this week during spring break. I can't wait to get back to school on Monday and see all of my friends.
Here's a picture of me the other day eating breakfast at the lake. Make it a great day everybody!
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Ask and you shall receive
Once again our support team does not fail us:) we had numerous people offering up crutches and have gotten a pair...now if I just could use them without hurting anything else
For those of you who were wondering exactly how I could hurt myself doing a workout with Lisa, attached is a video of the fitness princess in action a few weeks ago after our weekly viewing of the tv show Biggest Loser. The camera was turned off right before she started doing the "knees-up run" and yelling "get your knees up!"....trust me she's a drill sergeant!
For those of you who were wondering exactly how I could hurt myself doing a workout with Lisa, attached is a video of the fitness princess in action a few weeks ago after our weekly viewing of the tv show Biggest Loser. The camera was turned off right before she started doing the "knees-up run" and yelling "get your knees up!"....trust me she's a drill sergeant!
sorry about quality of video...blogger seems to have issues with uploading these files
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Yeah...sigh of relief!
Lisa's scans came back STABLE!! Yeah!! Again, with no known cure...stable is what we hope for. Her scans look good, her energy is good, her attitude is awesome.
She will return to school the week after Easter break and we are very happy and thanking God for his blessings.
Speaking of blessing, I was reading a childhood cancer newsletters and one of the posts was about how people wish their "support team" would actually make good on their offer of "what can I do for you to help" We are so blessed this has never been as issue for us. We have the most wonderful group of supporters ever!! Not once have we ever needed or asked for something and someone has not stepped up. All of our readers who read, pray and think of us. Our schools and teachers who take the extra steps to make sure all of my kids are doing okay. Friends and family who are there when we need them. We are so appreciative of all of you. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.
I'd like to send a special shout out to a few special individuals who've helped while Lisa has been homebound.
Lisa G., Matt, and Bonnie....these guys ROCK:) They were our caregivers for Lisa on the days she was home and Mike and I had to work. Not only did they come every week, each of them established their own special routine and activities with Lisa and she loved, loved, loved the time they spent with her.
Ms. Mattson....with her efforts, we were able to arrange with the school district that Lisa get homebound teaching from her classroom parapro...Ms. Ava...who came 3 x's a week while Ms. Mattson came 2ce a week. Thank you to these two wonderful ladies who provided Lisa with learning and structure a few hours during the week.
Hulsing Elementary PTG...they surprised us with a monetary donation they had collected. It was totally unexpected and a most wonderful surprise.
So...Life is Good and we are living and loving every minute. Thank you to all of you who help make our journey bearable:)
PS...Anyone have a pair of crutches I could borrow? I tore my calf muscle this morning working out and am not allowed to "bear weight" on my right leg...doc has prescribed rest (haha), physical therapy, and crutches.....let me know if you or someone you know has crutches..thanks!
She will return to school the week after Easter break and we are very happy and thanking God for his blessings.
Speaking of blessing, I was reading a childhood cancer newsletters and one of the posts was about how people wish their "support team" would actually make good on their offer of "what can I do for you to help" We are so blessed this has never been as issue for us. We have the most wonderful group of supporters ever!! Not once have we ever needed or asked for something and someone has not stepped up. All of our readers who read, pray and think of us. Our schools and teachers who take the extra steps to make sure all of my kids are doing okay. Friends and family who are there when we need them. We are so appreciative of all of you. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.
I'd like to send a special shout out to a few special individuals who've helped while Lisa has been homebound.
Lisa G., Matt, and Bonnie....these guys ROCK:) They were our caregivers for Lisa on the days she was home and Mike and I had to work. Not only did they come every week, each of them established their own special routine and activities with Lisa and she loved, loved, loved the time they spent with her.
Ms. Mattson....with her efforts, we were able to arrange with the school district that Lisa get homebound teaching from her classroom parapro...Ms. Ava...who came 3 x's a week while Ms. Mattson came 2ce a week. Thank you to these two wonderful ladies who provided Lisa with learning and structure a few hours during the week.
Hulsing Elementary PTG...they surprised us with a monetary donation they had collected. It was totally unexpected and a most wonderful surprise.
So...Life is Good and we are living and loving every minute. Thank you to all of you who help make our journey bearable:)
PS...Anyone have a pair of crutches I could borrow? I tore my calf muscle this morning working out and am not allowed to "bear weight" on my right leg...doc has prescribed rest (haha), physical therapy, and crutches.....let me know if you or someone you know has crutches..thanks!
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