Sorry for the lapse in writing, we've been a bit busy with life this past week.
Lisa went for her bloodwork and CT scan yesterday. Today is day one of the 2day MIBG scan. Not sure if it's because Lisa has been doing so well or just a feeling of complacency from doing all of this for so long, but up until yesterday I was feeling pretty positive and I wasn't anxious about the tests. .
However, as we strolled around the hospital yesterday, the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach began to grow and a little bit of panic set in with a whole bunch of what-ifs. While Lisa has been doing extremely well, she has begun to come down with a cold and as yesterday wore on she was becoming progressively more pale. When they took her vitals, they looked up in surprise when her temperature registered 99.9. I told them take it again, they did and it was 98.6....I told them write that one down and we quickly exited before they did the standard 3rd try. We found out later that her counts are good, so I'm hoping the first temperature reading was just a fluke.
The what-ifs have mounted because Lisa tripped the other day and is continuing to have pain 2 days later. No one saw her trip and she didn't say anything until a day later. Buttttttt, since then she has been having a LOT of pain...tear-induced, face squinching, irritable, give me a pain pill now pain. Normally this would probably slip thru my radar and I wouldn't pay much attention to it; however, this last week we received sad news from Lisa's school. A fourth grader had fallen on the playground and while she seemed okay, she continued to have pain and it got so bad in the evening that her parents took her to ER for x-rays. The results had them travelling immediately to UM/Motts because it was discovered that she had bone cancer in her leg. This child and her family have jumped to the top of mu prayer list and have made me more cognizant about Lisa's ankle pain. It is pretty extreme and there is no visible sign of injury which makes me wonder if those evil little cancer cells have taken over her ankle.
I hope and pray that I am wrong and it's just from the fall that no one saw, but even as I type this my heart speeds up as I again wonder "what if" and direct every curse word I know (which is a lot) at those f-ing cancer cells. The anger wells up in me...I'm so mad at that damn cancer and what Lisa has endured. The scans better come back good and the chemo had better be working or I'm going to be very unhappy and everyone knows if Momma ain't happy, nobody is happy! Arrrrghhhh!
So for the sake of everyone else, I hope scans are good. I will keep reminding myself to breath and think positive thoughts.
As always, keep praying and offer up an extra one for our 4th grade school buddy!
